the 2008 collegiate road national championships in fo-co...didn't win that shit.

university of denver mexican food cycling squad nationals death posse + tito's mom - ben quinn - joe lewis - dana perkins = i want to kick ass so bad.



our friendly female server failed to realize that the fried, cinnamon-sugar "birthday" crisp, a la mode, she just handed to the asian kid, who oddly reminds her of that mechanical genius - data - from "the goonies", will almost be entirely consumed by the sinister looking fellow sitting to his left. "you're eating it all wrong dammit!" look at all the empty liquid crack glasses in front of him.



"fuck, i feel strung out on calories, i can't believe i broke down and ate food. damn it!...there was nothing i could do! it was so hard, i had to eat! fucking grabowski. you would have done the same thing, it was just a few energy gels and some electrolyte beverage. i think i'll just vomit it out, it doesn't count if you don't digest. my bibs are already starting to feel tight around my waist. eating = dumb. screw you for judging me."



teamwork!



ben was telling me about this nightmare of his...



tito - "gasp, gasp, gasp...i'm so tired, this is so hard...ugh... FALSE, this is not difficult. where's that emo ben quinn kid? c'mon forbesy"

steve - "...my name's - gasp - tito, and i have a - gasp - VO2 max of nine hundred...i think my break is rubbing..."

grant - "...well this skinsuit is going in the garbage..."

(*note: without "turbo back pats" from steve forbes, eric moore and colin don both would have needed new chamois after the crit.)



colin - "i think we should start out (relatively) easy before we fully tighten the vice."

tito - "false."

(taylor kneuven muttering to himself in background) - "colin don. dumb."



when asked if i had the proper documentation to board the "pain train", I vomited all over myself.

grant - "all aboard the pain train!"


CRITERIUM! fast, dangerous, flat, and mildy fun.



katie ronsse - age 22(?), rumored to house a pack of sled dogs in her refrigerator-cooled underground denver moose lodge. from alaska, fast, and looks good in a cycling kit.



eric moore! - age 21, likes dave towle's witty commentary (i.e. "...wattage cottage!...danger will robinson!...this group is strung out like a runway model...the sandstorm fucking comes out of nowhere bombing the hill!...").



benjamin haffey quinn III - age unknown (older-ish?), eats on the weekends, listens to bands like 'as i lay dying', mountain goat who enjoys working against gravity.



steve! forbes! - age 23, "colin don is in trouble?! i'm on it.", all around awesome, also enjoys doing hood rat astronaut anti-matter gravity sucks! shit.



colin don - age 20, interested in the twin disciplines of jazz and stationary management. used fifty nine safety pins, seven feet of electrical tape, eight twist ties, and three hours to attach race numbers to jersey and bicycle. "that race number on the back of his bicycle is so pro looking."


fun fact:
***we learned a cool new drinking game from the kids at MIT, its called "pythagoras!", and essentially you recite digits of pi in a circular clockwise manner with your friends. if you miss a digit, you take a shot...of booze and/or diet coke (liquid crack). it's not so much a 'drinking game' for the MIT kids as it is a five hour recitation of the digits of pi. try it with friends! and be the first to solve the theorem!***

despite my advances, neither of these fleeting weekend romances came to fruition...yet.

(daniel)

(mara)