two firsts in one day. first cyclocross race and first water-borne itching parasite. yes, a busy day indeed.

headed out to interlocken this morning with the sandstorm brothers, evan and eric. eric (age: 15, height: 6'7'') needed to make it to the juniors race, so at dark thirty we all piled in to the volvo and made the pilgrimage to the course.

much of the course entailed riding through this viscous grass that absorbed most of the energy that was expended with each stroke through the pedals. there were quite a few turns, some of which people were describing as "off-canter". i almost hit a tree, but i did not thanks to my superior genes/immune system. my roommate just called his online girlfriend a "cheap-ass bitch" while engaging in some non-halo 3 variety of battle (another video game that i do not know the name of)...frankly, i don't think this relationship is going to last. im sitting next to the sloth as i type this, and thus feel compelled to let you know that it's business as usual in room 607 north. he informed the young lass that he woke up at two in the afternoon, ate some trans-fat filled confectionery delight, and then has, "...pretty much been playin' halo eva since." it's nine o'clock right now. ill be leaving him soon, and the child (aubrey) will be coming with me. okay enough of that, back to the race.

the dismounting sections of the course, there were two of them, included an epic, deep puddle of stagnant, amoeba filled, cess pool-esque water, followed by a muddy run up, as well as a dismount at the bottom of a hill, a run up, a jaunt through a volley balll course, and finally two more barriers up a mild slope. this last section made kind of an "m" shape.


(pictured is greg "mud and cowbells" keller, lover of cyclocross, and sick blogger. i don't know him personally, but i read his web log.)

a few hours after watching the lil' sandstorm rip it up like a mummy on acid, evan and i (...outfitted in our undeniably sexy long sleeve skinsuits...) rolled up to the start. the field sizes for almost all of the races were disgustingly large....i think the senior men 45+ category had a rumored 100 or more riders....the race being in such close proximity to boulder and denver was most likely responsible for this. there must have been at least fifty (correction 100) people lined up for our race, and evan and i were only about two rows back at the start. following the commencement of the race there was a mass of people looking to get a good position into the first turn, i was passing people and moving my way up before the creek crossing, and after the gross hill had put myself in a decent position. the rest of the race was spent trying to move up. i was passing people on the sections with the barriers and dismounts, and was being re-passed on some of the grassy sections. the legs felt good the last three to five laps, meaning i was not so far into oxygen debt that i was unable to maintain cognitive function.

things that went well today, sort of. firstly, the weather was warm and sunny. all of the observatory park mounting, dismounting, and clipping in practice friday afternoon seemed to have paid of as there was no racking of one's self, and most of the time i was able to keep power moving through the pedals, post-barriers. also, i looked good...this is a given and really requires no mentioning. i also finished top 20 i think...maybe...well, we shall see. i beat all of the people i was determined to beat at the start, namely the two significantly younger TIAA-CREF kids.

things that did not go well today. after the muddy run up i dropped my chain to the outside somehow and had a difficult time getting it back on, a few positions were lost, and the post-chain drop bicycle remount was over a knobbly section of the course and was mildly painful.

evan was not happy with his result, and said that his "...legs felt like shit...", but he rocked it, and like a true sandstorm was riding through the sand pit/volley ball course. bad ass.

my first observations on the sport that is cyclocross.
1. ex-csu coach probably loves it due to its intense nature, and innate dick-in-a-vice qualities.
2. it's hard as fuck (pardon my american).
3. i can't wait to do it again...sans the itching and hallucinations (more to come on this...).

the second "first" (itching and hallucination)...

now that i have attempted to discuss the race without considering what transpired afterwards, which made yesterday a not so fantastic day, i will tell you about my undiagnosed allergy to stagnant pond water.

i dont clearly remember all of this. (the swear words are necessary because they help in recreating the agony).

i was very itchy after the race, my head started itching and then it started moving down my body...im very thirsty, but more so itchy...i drink some water out of an ash colored nalgene bottle, which smiled at me...i wish there was more water in this bottle...corey's parents, corey's lady friend jami, corey, scott wenzel (i would like to absolve him of all dead-ness, but maybe just a tad dead to me still), eric, and evan were all shucking and jiving next to the muddy ditch after the four's race, it's nice to see all of them...evan and i are going to disneywrand for spring break...i itch every fucking where!...okay i need to get this skinsuit off so that i can scratch my skin so hard it bleeds and my forearms get sore...back to evans car...skinsuit off boxers on...ill sit on the asphalt and scratch...i think that woman standing next to her car can see into my boxers...i dont care...evan i need help, lets go get some benadryl please...i wonder if i can go swimming in that stream of reclaimed water...okay we're in the sandstrom mobile, and i am laying down in the backseat with only boxers and a pair of sunglasses evan handed me on...my vision is all sorts of fucked up, why is it so bright?...i can't see anything...(driving)...i see a pool...evan pull over the car...now...okay the pool is gated, im hopping over the gate...fuck fuck fuck theres some sort of inpenetrable, spring-loaded cover on the pool...the bottoms of my feet itch, it must be this pool deck...my feet are on fire...hopping back over the gate, back to the vehicle...bob you were told to thoroughly clean the pool this morning!...(driving)...albertson's parking lot, throw on white shirt and shoes so that i can get service...into the store, evan hands me a gatorade i start drinking...cold soda in the fridge next to the check out, i start drinking that...where did they go...i cant see anything, it is so bright in here...pharmacy isle...antihistimines!...fuck there are like a million varietys of benadryl...im going to pass out or lie down...okay im sitting on the floor...evan just open a fucking box...here swallow these...eric go get two gallons of water...check out, credit or debit...back to the parking lot...dump water on a towel and start rubbing...okay im starting to feel better...clothes on.

...anyways, that's kind of how it went down. thank you evan and eric for all of your help. thank you corey's parents, jami, corey and scott for yelling words of encouragement. we went back to watch some of corey's race afterwards, i started getting drowsy from the four benadryl tablets and after almost passing out in the shower, fell asleep on top my bed.

i attempted to WebMD my symptoms, but the diagnosis of "crabs" seemed incorrect.



in other news...

haley brill and i are in the preliminary planning stages of a trip to india. would you like to come?