after a weekend of seaching, my friend carl is sure that the lost ark of the covenant is not buried in some crevasse in the catskill mountains.

seven people have now told me that honey bees have stopped working or something, and from experience i know that when seven different people of different ages, different ethnic backgrounds, different heights, and different opinions on the ethicality of stem cell research, tell you that something is happening you accept this as infallible fact. thus, i did what any sane person unaffected by the fumes of model-grade super glue would do...i went on to craigslist and tried to purchase a bee farm. for anyone unfamiliar with the concept of 'craigslist', it is a centralized network of online communities, featuring free classified advertisements (with jobs, internships, housing, personals, for sale/barter/wanted, services, community, gigs, resume, and pets categories) and forums on various topics. as of now craigslist is inundated with a lot of high-profile beekeeping properties (it seems that even the 'honeyville' folks in durango have caught wind of hard times in the beekeeper community), but i finally found some guy that lives right outside of golden, colorado who might be willing to sell me the half of his garage/attic that bees that have taken over. he said, and i quote, "they seem more aggressive than normal bees." excellent, it seems that not all the bees have succomb to slothfulness. i work with a lot of aggressive people and they seem to get more work done than most, you might even call them 'busy, and mean, little bees'. i didn't want to seem like i wasnt 'serious', nor did i want him privy to the information that those bees may be worth their weight in beets in the coming months, so i told him to contact me in the next week so that we can discuss the details of our arrangment. i bought some flavored honey sticks at the sunflower market yesterday in celebration of my soon-to-be latest property acquisition. i figure that in about a month i will own a haunted bread factory AND half of a bee infested garage/attic.



i ran into the macaulay culkin's degenerate, and much less well-known brother the other day on a bike ride...lets just say there's nobody 'home alone' up there. this fellow didnt just buy milk, eggs, and fabric softener...he consumed them, probably in a single sitting. if this kid was alan greenspan he would have changed the accepted form of currency in the u.s. to oak leaves years ago.

speaking of bike riding...i havent been doing much of it. i guess i should say 'enough' of it. not to worry however, all of the components to finish building my cyclocross bike should be here by the end of the week and before you know it i'll be posting unexciting 'race updates' that nobody except my parents will read.

this should be a fair representation of me pre-cyclocross season...



...and post...



...step aside sven nys, ryan trebon, corey carlson, eric moore, and evan sandstrom.

okay i guess thats really all i have for now, for you family members out there i know i left out some general life details...ill get back to you later with them.



(...you're gonna get a bullet in you head courtesy of kyle! d'auria...)